NFL Best Bets – Week 7

Gargy- Last week no ball bag, no “what we learned” as it was a terrible weekend for us at pelican punting, but I hope you all followed Shirty on Thursday night- he is the Thursday night specialist. So this week here is what I like; I like Tom Brady and the Patriots. There is a bit mail around that the Gronk will be back, even with a 5-1 record they need him. $1.55 is a nice price, the Jets so far this year, their defense has been good and Geno Smith has been good, but I reckon he is due for a bad game. The other team I like is the Bears over the skins. $1.85 head to head is juice. RG3 and Alfred Morris are not playing anywhere they did last year, Cutler has been playing well and has a nice bunch of receivers to chuck to and I reckons the bears defense can step it up.  $2.86 x $50 for a collect of $143.37. I haven’t put a wager on it, but the other game I am looking forward to is Peyton’s homecoming, when he heads back to Indy to face the colts. I hope he torches them, chucks 5 x TD’s and 450 yards and then after the game says to Jim Irsay “How do you like them apples”. Are you having a sickie tomorrow shirt so that you can watch this game? Are you rooting for the Broncos? What else you like mate?

Shirt – Gargs, I’ve been more flat out than a one legged man in an arse kicking competition this past week, and while the idea of taking a sickie and spending it on the coach watching Manning and Luck go head to head is certainly appealing, there are two downsides to the plan – the first is I am no less busy, and I would get an arse kicking of my own were I to no show.  The second is that my 4 year old doesn’t have pre school on Monday, and while she can just about leave me alone for long enough to watch the Roosters play rugby league for 80 minutes (she’s a big Sonny Bill fan) 3+ hours of NFL would push her over the edge.

Feeling pretty good about my punting this week. I had a reasonable day on the gg’s on Saturday (although didn’t find the Caulfield Cup winner) and obviously got my Thursday Night mojo back with an easy return.  I would like to find something this week to really knock one out of the park to kill off any residual punting demons from the horror run of the last couple of weeks.   I find myself agreeing with Gargy this week – I think both the Pats and the Bears are specials, but there are enough games out there that we needn’t throw all our eggs in the one basket. So let’s go with 49ers -3.5 (@ Titans) into the Falcons -6 at home to the Buccs into the Chiefs -6 at Arrowhead to continue the Texans woes.  The punters are with me, with all three options into 1.87 for a total multi return of $6.54.  I’m going to take 100 crisp dollars of my kitty and plonk it on that for a possible return of $654.

For those asking the obvious question, yes, I can confirm I am this guy;

Speaking of testicles, I also think it’s a great time to take the $5 on offer about the Chiefs winning the AFC West.  The Broncos are $1.14 to win it, and probably rightfully so, but let’s not forget that Peyton remains one hit away from major neck surgery, and the Chiefs remain undefeated, so technically have exactly the same probability as the Broncos to win it at this point.  If you had a two horse race, and the race was over 1600m, and you were around the 700 metre mark, and the two horses had run neck and neck over that first 700m and you could get $5 for one of those horses to win, and you knew the other jockey was carrying and injury and might just fall off at any time, and that your horse had a pretty easy run home, you’d probably take the $5 right?  Is anyone with me?

Finally, and apropos of, well, nothing really, those crazy guys at Bad Lip Reading have been at it again.  NFL Fans would be familiar with their work via this brilliant piece of remastered art;

An orange peanut for me?! Now Game of Thrones fans can get on the Bad Lip Reading Band wagon with this gem…

Happy Punting!

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By gargyandshirt Posted in NFL

One comment on “NFL Best Bets – Week 7

  1. Remember- a one-legged man can easily win an asskicking contest if he is laying on the ground. And the ass he is kicking is near him. And not moving.

    Caveat: unless you have gargantuan testicles swathed in orange cotton like the guy in the video above.

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