Shirty’s Ballbag – The Pelican Punting Mailbag Week 1, 2014

 

You gotta love football!!  Not only is the NFL back in all of its visceral glory, but you lucky punters get the weekly pleasure of checking out my Ballbag.  So, without further ado, lets delve into the bag for the first time in 2014.

After a hectic weekend of Week 1 action we have plenty to get to.  First up, a letter from Jordan from Westminster, Maryland, who is just 9 years old (awww)

Dear Pelicans,

I am 9 years old and I know that it is not cool to hit people, especially girls, and especially girls that you love.  I don’t actually love any girls, except for my Mom who is like 40 and not really a girl, and my sister most of the time, unless she has hidden my Transformers.  But even if she hides my Transformers or makes my Skywalkers go to one of her stupid tea parties, I would never hit her.  And if I did I would totally own up and apologise because, like my Dad always says, that’s what a man would do.  Anyway, Ray Rice is a douche and that guy who is in charge of like, all of Football, with the red hair who looks a bit like Jim Carey’s friend from The Truman Show is one too – if he was my teacher, the whole class would go crazy all the time because sometimes a leader needs to be firm and make a stand (my Dad says that too, but he can’t even use a power drill so I don’t think he could make anything) and not just react after stuff has already happened.

Jordan.

Thanks Jordan.  You nailed it buddy.

Also in the bag this week;

Dear Pelicans,

I love Pelicans. They seem such majestic creatures with their huge beaks, graceful flight and giant wings.  Although I guess if you had one flying towards you really fast they could maybe hit you EVEN IF YOU TRIED TO DUCK AND GET OUT OF THE WAY AND IF THEY DID IT WOULD REALLY HURT, AND OH SHIT WHAT IF SOMEONE WAS FILMING – IT WOULD BE EVERYWHERE ON THE INTERNET AND….haha.  Sorry about that.  Doc says the fear will pass I just have to give it time.  Next week, my therapy is due to kick….AHHH NO KICKING NO KICKING NO KICKING.  I’m kick, I don’t get kicked…I kick, I don’t get kicked.

Gotta go.
Spencer from Cleveland

Thanks Spencer.  That was…weird.

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 Dear Pelicans,

I know you guys are NFL experts.  In your opinion, is it worse for a Quarterback to fumble or throw an interception? 

Thanks
Josh, Tampa Bay

Good question. Well Josh, here at Pelican Punting we don’t believe in limiting ourselves or doing things by halves.  And decision making has been shown to be one of the activities that is most taxing to the brain.  If you like two teams to cover the start, don’t spend time working out which one to back, just back ’em both.  And preferably in a parlay!  So Josh, in answer to your question, an interception and a fumble are just as bad as each other, but together they are a thing of rare beauty.

 

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And that’s the ballbag emptied for this week folks.  Stay tuned for our review of last week’s games (f*ck you Chicago) and our tips for next week, which will be coming out soon.

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One comment on “Shirty’s Ballbag – The Pelican Punting Mailbag Week 1, 2014

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